I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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