she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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