so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
