I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
