Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
