Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
