if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
of course. lets lasso hookers.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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