Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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