Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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