this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
