so let's talk penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
