yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
