Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
