grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
