How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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