I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
