I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
