What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
