Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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