Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
