Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
