She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
