Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They have beer where we have blood.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
