My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
