I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
