Whoa Z and x make the same sound
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sorry about my life...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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