so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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