the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
