he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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