girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
