Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
there is glitter all over my balls
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