Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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