Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need water and some morals
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize