Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
