We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
