hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm both gender and math confused
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