We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
