i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
