i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
