I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
