I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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