You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
