Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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