it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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