just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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