champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
