I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Your cock deserves a montage
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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