Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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