One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
