how can u be prego again
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
