Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
