Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize