Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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