She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize