well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
