Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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