It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
