I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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