so let's talk penis.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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