sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize