just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
