We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
