My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
