if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize