Whod you bang
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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