If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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