I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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