That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
