every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
