Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
