Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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