dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
