I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
