oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Found your dick twin last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
