Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize